


The Art of Wanting Something you Don't Know you Already Have

by TheInevitableSense



Series: GSoFS Extended Universe [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, GSoFS verse, I'm not sorry, Non-Explicit Sex, Other, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:40:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13510314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheInevitableSense/pseuds/TheInevitableSense
Summary: A snapshot of John and Lafayette together before it all.(Part of the God Save our Foolish Sons Extended Universe)





	The Art of Wanting Something you Don't Know you Already Have

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaggieMay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggieMay/gifts).



> For solving The Great James Mystery, sudden-but-ineffable/MaggieMay won a 1,000 max ficlet of their choice, and they wanted Laurette.
> 
> Sorry I made it hurt and that it's a bit under 1,000 words, but I like it how it stands.

It’s moments like this where John can almost forget reality. When Lafayette is ghosting their lips across John’s chest like they’re trying to kiss every freckle and their hands are feeling along John’s thighs John can almost pretend there’s something akin to love in those motions.

But there’s not, as much as John wishes there was. They’ve both been very clear that this is blowing off steam, fulfilling desires, they’re exchanging nothing but physical pleasure. And it’s not like John can blame Lafayette for the aching hole in his heart whenever they do this. John’s the liar after all, coming into this agreement knowing he wanted more but never voicing it. With Lafayette, John has to simply take what he can get.

So if ‘what he can get’ is Lafayette’s clever tongue running circles over his nipples until he’s aching just from that, then John will just have to accept that. If there’s nothing but physicality between them, John will bathe himself in that until he can’t envision anything else.

But damn does Lafayette make it hard, with the gentle way they take John in their arms and stroke and caress until John can’t take it anymore. It’s so soft and gentle, like a lover, not just like they’re fucking to fuck. Like Lafayette is trying to do something more than that.

But John fell in love with that hidden gentility, that care Lafayette puts into everything and the art they seem to be able to see in even the ugliest of things. John can’t understand why _he_ isn’t like everything else, why Lafayette doesn’t hold him with the same reverence they do a glass of wine or marvel at him the way they marvel at light reflecting on water or -

Lafayette catches him in a kiss and John moans into it, trying to feel for something in it he knows isn’t there but feels like there could be. Maybe the French are just soft lovers. Maybe Americans have it wrong with all the hardness and edges and rough way John has had from countless men before.

His hips jerk upward, looking for the same thing from Lafayette’s hand his lips are looking from their mouth, and then Lafayette lets out a small laugh, one that makes John’s insides light up in glory. The one that makes John feel like he could be like the plush fabrics Lafayette loves to just run their hands over, running it between their fingers repeatedly with loving gentility, an expression of adoration on their face.

With his eyes shut, John imagines that’s the expression Lafayette is wearing as they break the kiss to gently push John’s legs apart, thin fingers softly running up and down his thighs as they settle between them. He wishes his skin, his body, his _everything_ could be just as precious to Lafayette as Lafayette’s everything is to him.

John lets his fingers twist into the bedsheets below him, trying to figure out what the difference between that silk and his skin is as Lafayette gently works him open, the motions familiar and routine. And when Lafayette gently pushes inside him, John can’t help but feel complete in a sense. He’s done a lot of wrong in his life, but this is quite possibly the most right he’s ever been.

And the pleasure building in his body almost feels like love, is close enough that John can just pretend like this is more than physical. For a split second he exists in a world where Lafayette loves him more than anything else on earth.

That split second is all he has. It satisfies him but ends it all at the same time, and as the second of delusion clears and the intensity of it all fades to something more gentle, John is brought back to reality. Lafayette gently pulls out and a moment later is finishing across John’s stomach, adding to the mess there.

The silk burns John’s back as Lafayette collapses down into it. They catch their breath, eyes shut, and John watches their face carefully. He wants to reach out, to pull Lafayette to him and hold the other person as tightly as possible and never let go. And then Lafayette opens their eyes and it’s not like they look at him with disgust or indifference, just that same friendly care John has only ever gotten.

“You’re thinking about something,” Lafayette says. John smiles, shakes his head.

“Nope.”

“I can see it, John Laurens.”

John shakes his head even more firmly, looking up at the ceiling, unable to take looking at Lafayette any more. “Not thinking about anything,” he says. Lafayette hums, almost thoughtfully.

“Are you okay?” Lafayette asks. “Do you need more?”

John’s traitorous heart clenches.

“No, this is fine,” he says. “Exactly what I needed.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read God Save our Foolish Sons, check it out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7947316/chapters/18170254)!
> 
> Come yell at me on tumblr [here](https://theinevitablesense.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
